Text

My body/brain was like Hey, Jen, hey! Don’t you wanna get up now?! Like, I know you don’t have to be at work for 3 full hours, but wouldn’t you like to lay in bed and struggle to get back to sleep for half an hour then finally give up and see what your friends are doing over on social media? Hey check out these messages that weirdos sent you over on OKC! Hahaha weirdos. Oh, look, quickmatch! You know some of these guys. Oh. Ohhh. Yikes. Maybe you shouldn’t be doing this.

Pro tip for all the men folk on dating sites- do not lead with a comment about her appearance in the first few messages. I assume if you’ve taken the time to message me that you’ve found me attractive. I don’t need your creepy commentary on my appearance. Very few dudes have pulled this off and made it actually feel like a compliment.

Also, if I try to turn you down somewhat gracefully by suggesting you are too young or too far away, please don’t try to argue it with me. And if you push for my phone number or try to make plans within 24 hours of first contact, I will generally say no.

If you do all of those things then follow up with another message later that evening that says “What’s your number, gorgeous?” You will get not so gracefully turned down.

I think I’m way too picky to be online dating- especially on a free site.

Photo Set

teacupnosaucer:

love seeing women not turning on each other when it’s a man cheating

yes v good 10 for you gorgeous women

I have a pretty good story about this too. I found out that a guy I was seeing was also still seeing his ex-girlfriend and had a current girlfriend. I found out when the girlfriend intercepted my texts and texted me back because I “seemed like a nice woman and she didn’t want me to get hurt.”

She took my phone number from his phone and texted me from her own- and she immediately kicked his sorry cheating ass out of her apartment and her life. She and I became fast friends, and even though we don’t hang out a lot, we still have each other’s backs more than a year later.

She not only took my resume and passed it around trying to help me find a job, but she actually SENT ME $60 cash to help me make ends meet while I was unemployed and financially crippled.

Such a beautiful friendship came out of such an ugly situation.

(via allefory)

Source: twirpy
Text
*poop emoji*

*heart eyes emoji*

Text
Answer
  • Question: Let me borrow that top. I wanna borrow that top. That's such a cute top. I wanna borrow it. Lemme borrow the top. Aren't we friends? So, what's the problem? Lemme borrow the top.... - allefory
  • Answer:

    YOU’RE NOT EVEN WEARING IT.

Photo

excessunrated:

afearlessthreshold:

himederekitten:

This is a piece of shitty mid-2000s humour that I hope never disappears from the internet

The guy who made this went to my high school

What was it like being so close to this much success

LET’S GET SOME SHOES.

(via thelibralesbian)

Source: prospit-page
Answer
  • Question: Sure that I'm not the only one to ask, how was the first day? - manontheperiphery
  • Answer:

    LONG! But really good- everyone is super nice, I think it’s gonna be really great. I’m very excited. I am sure day 2 is going to be jam packed again!!

Text

I’m a bundle of nerves about starting work tomorrow! I’m sure it will be fine, but I didn’t eat and now I have a headache and eek. I have no idea what to expect. My heartbeat is in my forehead.

Text

People are suddenly trying to get me to answer some pervy questions in this blog. That’s not even going to happen. You guys are funny.

Answer
  • Question: Whats the strangest object you have masturbated with? - Anonymous
  • Answer:

    My mind.